Old Bones, New Hearts.

It was one of those last minute day trips where you look at each other across the living room and say “do you want to just go for it?” and the very next second you are scooping up small shoes and wiggling them onto little feet and gathering up armfuls of jackets and snacks and milk and diapers and driving south- nodding your head to good music.

The Natural History Museum in Norman, Oklahoma- where the bones of old dinosaurs cause an almost 5-year-old boy to squeal with fits of joy and delight.

As I wandered through the clean, warm rooms and looked at these giant bone puzzles I couldn’t help but be reminded of the steady pattern of life and death- racing along like a loaded freight train. Completely unstoppable. Yet here we are… often trying desperately to feel like we have control over the past, present, future… building up bones and chasing fountains of youth until our pockets are empty and we’ve wasted huge chunks of our life on being terrified of death.

Mind boggling, that.

UGH, to live like there was no tomorrow! That is the desire of my heart! To RUN and not walk towards my neighbors, towards those most desperate for love! To LET GO of the wall I am hugging and step out into the vulnerable open space! To live in a way that I would be proud to see my boys emulate with their own lives!

I feel so far from these things. The thought of them somehow brings feelings of both hopeful longing and defeat. How much have I already missed out on by living the way I have been living? Has too much passed me by to even bother trying now? Have I missed it completely? These are the thoughts I find in my head.

This morning in church, we talked about the book of Ezekiel.

God says in Ezekiel that He will open our graves and bring us up from them, that He will put His Spirit in us so that we may live, that He will remove our hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh that beat. That POUND. That THWUMP! He speaks of calling out to a valley of dry bones- causing them to be wrapped in life and flesh once more… a second chance army… called into true life! Not just glued together bone puzzles in sterile museums for collecting dust, but LIFE that dances and hollers and brings glory to Him from all who look upon it!

We are never too far away for hope to reach us. Hope always has longer arms.

We are never too old or too burdened to start a new chapter in our stories.

Every morning is a new day. A new chance. A new grace. A fresh start. A clean page.

All we have to do is wake up, open our eyes, swing our feet onto the floor, and start saying ‘yes’ to the still soft voice in our hearts. Yes yes yes yes yes. Yes I want a new heart. Yes I believe in you. Yes I will cook for my elderly neighbor. Yes I will speak lovingly to my children. Yes I will read Your words. Yes I will go to Africa. Yes yes yes yes yes…

Oh! He is a ‘yes’ worthy God!

Yes yes yes yes yes!

12 thoughts on “Old Bones, New Hearts.

  1. We are never too far away for hope to reach us. Hope always has longer arms.

    AMAZING! you. this. God in you. in me! yes! AHA! i get it :) thanks for this!

  2. Oh how I love this post.
    I have been thinking about this same thing the last couple of weeks, feeling as if I have wasted so much time.
    But God, His mercies are new everyday.
    Love it.

  3. The price has been paid
    The freedom has been bought
    Now we must choose step out into the Light of a Creator who longs for nothing more than to walk the journey of freedom with us.

    Thanks for the heart felt post…
    Live what you write and you will be free

  4. Wow. God is so confirming. My personal journal entry this morning:

    I am ready for this new realm. I am ready for this new dimension that comes with 2010. I am tired of defeating myself with my own thoughts. I prayed earlier and said that the old can die. I’ve been afraid of death; even have lost sleep over it. Seriously, at night after I drift off, I wake 20-30 mins later and wonder if that’s what it feels like to be dead. I know it is not a physical death that concerns me. At least I know that now. I did have that fear but have been working through it. The death that God has been dealing with inside of me is more of a soul death. The death of me. The death of the person I believed I was. This sounds more cliché than it is. But believe me it doesn’t feel cliché. I’ve had feelings of doubt, not knowing who I am. I don’t know where I belong. I don’t know my name. The name God gave me. What did he put inside of me, where do I fit in? Give me a name so I know who I am. Why am I here? What is my gift? Name it. I believe all of these questions arose because I can’t be who I am without dying to who I thought I was. The way I’ve been living my life is a lie. And she must die so the rebirth can happen. To be born again. My soul is what gets born again over and over until the fullness of restoration has come. The labor has been intense and the pain deep. The unknown has been bold and the fear lurks. But I can’t fake it, I know the way I am now is not real and I just can’t fake life anymore. I don’t want to and it feels wrong. I feel as though I’ve been in a battle blindfolded. I believe the reason is because I’ve been so accustomed to the false me, the one I thought I was. I don’t recognize the real me. I feel blind because I can’t see outside of what has been familiar my whole life. This is why the way I’ve thought about myself thus far must die. I can’t hold onto what I’ve seen in the past and expect to change my future. The old procedure, the old protocol, the old thoughts, patterns, habits, the familiar must die. The familiar life of my past is a death cycle. Maybe that’s why I’ve been afraid of death. Even dying is familiar to me. We believe in death more than life. We believe that Christ died more than we believe He lives. He conquered death. Death is dead. So why do I give it life? How can I expect to live when I believe in death? I speak death to my body, my dreams, and my soul. This familiar way of thinking, this familiar pattern of life must stop. I was not created to die. I was created to live and to bring life to others. Let death die in me. I want to live.

  5. I have been so discouraged lately, just absolutely no point in life down. I have the advice you gave me written down…”Follow hope and seek it out and you will end up in heaps of goodness.” I have returned to your blog day after day to find some glimmer of goodness, because your proof that it does get better after the storms is like a life preserver to me right now. I don't know how to contact you privately, and I've never asked this of any stranger before, but would you please pray for me? Just knowing someone cares about me would make all the difference in the world. Thank you for being the honest person you are.

  6. I had to come back and re-read this post again today. It's so well written and speaks to the heart. I love this line: We are never too far away for hope to reach us. Hope always has longer arms.

    You should patent that! You're a gifted writer and mother. You inspire others! You're being a witness through your blog. It's wonderful.

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