So… my baby hates my boobs.
We have given him a couple of bottles over the last few weeks- when I had to run out and do things or wanted to go out by myself for awhile- and, apparently, I no longer cut it. Whenever I try to nurse him, he thrashes and arches and whines and cries and claws at me.
He’s perfectly happy and content all day long… until I try to offer him the boobs. What used to comfort him now just pisses him right off.
When you offer him a bottle, however, he turns into a pile of happy goo and chugs the thing like there is no tomorrow.
*insert me crying over the fact that my milk is like sour pond scum here*
I’ve tried nursing more often to see if I just needed to build up my milk supply again, but the little butt-butt doesn’t seem to be frustrated with the lack of milk, he’s just angry that it takes so much more effort to get it from me than from the bottle. So, I nurse and I nurse and I nurse, and he clearly lets me know how inadequate I am as a food source every single time. It’s like he’s drinking with a scowl on his face… making sure I know that he hates every second of it.
As of now, he gets a small bottle before bedtime, and he eats some baby food with us at dinner, and the rest of the times, I am still nursing.
But, even this small shift in milk demand/production has thrown my hormones for a loop. I am moody. Sweaty. Tired. Pimply. And prone to sudden bursts of anger.
So… now the question is… do I cut off the nursing cold turkey in order to get the hormone rollercoaster ride over with? Or do I continue slowly cutting back and deal with the outrageous side effects?
(To be honest, the pimples alone are enough to make me want to throw in the towel. They are AWFUL.)
I feel icky and miserable and greasy and icky yucky icky ick.
The hard part is, I really wasn’t even close to ready to give up nursing. Ezra was able to juggle bottles and nursing for months with no issues. Myer, however, has figured out that he has a preference in the area of milk dispensing, and he no longer wants anything to do with what I have to offer.
This is SO heartbreaking. I have been wandering around in a disconsolate haze for the past couple of weeks, debating with myself on what to do about it all. Have any of you experienced this with your wee babes?
I know that this is a decision that ultimately I just need to weigh and make personally, but I would love some feedback from those of you who have found yourself in the same
nursing bras shoes… if nothing else, just to know I’m not alone or crazy for feeling so upset about it all.
milky woe & trepidation!