First, Re: My Last Post, THANK YOU. I am doing better, although this past weekend was one of the hardest in my life. I felt like I was centimeters from an emotional breakdown all weekend. And Ezra got the brunt of that, I am sad to say, which is so not fair to him, but it happened and it’s something I can’t take back. He pushed all the wrong buttons at the wrong time, and I yelled and snapped at him more in these past two days than the entire time he’s been alive, I’m pretty sure. And then he started yelling and snapping at me (gee… where’d he learn that from?) so then I had to punish him for the very things he was learning from his fragile mama only minutes before. Which made me feel like poo.
Things are chugging along. I am trying to stay afloat. I am doing better. I need extra measures of grace and compassion from the people around me… extra measures of understanding and communication. I feel like I’m recovering from a heart wound and need to take it easy on myself, which is hard to do when you’re a control monger who likes to look shiny on the outside like I do. Lord help me.
Get this: We had the storm shelter installed on Saturday, and then the very next day, WE HAD TO USE IT. I suppose we didn’t have to, but the weather was freaky and the old WWII sirens were blaring through our neighborhood for almost an hour (this has never happened in the two years since we’ve lived here), so we put everything we would need down there and ran Ezra through the drill of how the shelter worked and when/why we go down there. Then we watched the TV like hawks with binoculars. We are such ninnies. Most Oklahomans were probably out sunbathing or something while this was all going on. Can you tell we’re from the West?
I packed a bag full of snacks, water, DVD’s, the DVD Player, Books, a blanket, and flashlights. Also? My camera. Because our safety depended on it. (Or maybe I am just a shameless blogger at heart.)
Needless to say, we were completely relieved to have the shelter. It put the ‘fun’ back in ‘funnel cloud’ again.
HAHAHAHHA- I kill me.