I think that Ezra was playing with Chris’ alarm clock last night or something because this morning, at the ungodly hour of 6AM, the alarm went off. That would have been fine and good, but it seems that a little someone had turned the volume ALL.THE.WAY.UP.
Our room went from peaceful silence to DEF-CON 5 faster than a cheetah in a spaceship. Then, while Chris was frantically trying to find the snooze button, he clumsily knocked the candle and plate off of his nightstand- causing loud CRASHING noises amidst the screeching of the full blast alarm.
Oh how I love being ripped from my airplane dreams by noises that scream “MALFUNCTION!! WE’RE GOING DOOOWN!”
This all scared the bejeebuz out of me, and once Chris had finally found the button he was looking for, (did the button MOVE? What took so long to find it?!) all became quiet again. I waited anxiously to see if the noise had awakened Ezra. It hadn’t, so I tried to fall back asleep. Falling back asleep took some time, but I was finally able to nod off after oh, say 14 minutes or so. Guess what happened again at minute 15?
And then 15 minutes after that?
And then again 15 more minutes after that?
ALARM. FULL BLAST. HEART PALPITATIONS. THOUGHTS OF SHOVING ALARM CLOCK IN TOILET.
I finally dragged myself out of bed at 6:50 because Ezra had been awakened by this point, and because all of the interval excitement was getting to be, well, a little too much for my decaffeinated nerves.
I listened from the living room as Chris continued to push the SNOOZE button every 15 minutes for the next hour and a half. With each alarm, his reaction to the abrasive noise became quicker and more fine-tuned. It got to the point where the alarm would hardly have time to finish it’s very first “Screech!” before Chris had choked it off by hitting snooze with his lighting fast cat reflex.
With a little caffeine under my belt, this battle between man and alarm became quite entertaining. I made bets with myself about whether he would turn the alarm all the way off or not; whether or not he would wake up this time; whether he would be able to develop a preternatural ability and silence the alarm before it could even utter a sound…
It would have been just as easy to turn the thing off completely, or turn the volume knob down from Level 169736803 to Level 1. But neither of us did these things. We basically kept asking the clock to scare the pee out of us every quarter of an hour.
And the funny thing about all of this is that it will probably happen again tomorrow morning.
And the morning after that.
And the morning after that…
On and on until the day when Ezra decides to mess with the alarm clock again- hopefully turning the knob the other way this time- restoring peace and lower blood pressure to the household once and for all.
Question: Are you a lover of the snooze button? Or is one alarm enough? I’ve personally never understood the snooze button mentality.
I’d rather just GET UP than willingly subject myself to the repeated torture of the obnoxious machine next to my pillow.
Then again, I don’t even have an alarm clock anymore. Ezra is my alarm clock usually. And he didn’t even come with a snooze button.
Trust me, I’ve looked.